Welcome to my first BE YOU Blog post!
Breathe Your Way through Resistance
#BEYOUBlog
Today I spent some time with our boy Levi. The theme resistance. Levi joined our SVR herd and has been a wonderful addition. I haven’t spent as much time with him dedicated to play and connecting as I would have liked over the winter and have made this my intention starting back this week.
I wanted to share a bit of today’s session with you all as I feel it was a lesson we could all benefit from around how we need to hold space for those who may offer push back instead of willingness when we are in relationship with them (possibly the someone may be you… Just saying 😉)
The trailer is something that would appear as something that Levi personally finds unsettling. When I got curious about his reaction to the thought of being asked to enter the trailer, he immediately became tight within his body, tension in his lips and reacted by pulling away from what he felt was a question he couldn’t participate in and stay safe. His nervous system took him to flight, and he needed to move his feet away from the perceived threat. The first and second picture are of him just before the flight kicked in and he backed away from the trailer quickly not caring if he drug me along like the end of a kite. Luckily, I anticipated his flight and was able to move with him and offer him the option to move out of the “threat” zone and regulate. (Notice the resistance he is presenting in the photos)
When we run into moments in relationship where there is struggle, triggered activation (fight, flight or freeze may be a few you have heard of) or miscommunication, symptoms present. In this scenario I had to again be curious about what “symptoms” were presenting between myself and Levi.
Let’s get real clear the flee Levi was feeling was not just towards the trailer. It was really about that lack of trust and safety he felt towards me as his leader.
Step one in this scenario was not for me to prove my leadership by moving his feet around my yard with intensity, in consequence or as punishment for not obeying his leader. It was for me to recognize any resistance within myself. Was I holding on to any outcome, was I able to meet him where I could offer a safe and permissive connection? As in he can enter in and out of this relationship as he felt he needed to, to feel calm and supported.
I became aware of a pressure in my chest it felt heavy and like I was jittery inside and slightly energetic. Aha I was holding on to some activation myself.
This was a lesson in congruency. Whether I was the initial creator or cause of the activation “symptoms” or Levi was or if we were having our own individual triggering really isn’t important but that there was a break in connection is where my attention needed to draw too.
I started another body scan of myself and Levi as we stood together just outside of the “threat” zone. The energetic territory of which one side there is regulation (calm) or the other side of which neither myself or Levi is at our best selves. 😉
During this body scan I recognized that we both were standing calmly, I felt fairly relaxed in my muscles and noticed my shoulders were elevated, I also wasn’t taking fully expansive inhales. Surprise… When I scanned over Levi neither was he. This was a sign something was still not fully right.
It was time to work towards a different more regulated sense of congruency. I turned us around to stare out into the field where Levi lives (his safe space) and let the idea of the trailer go. It was now just about BEING together. There is a picture in the slideshow progression that one of my lovely clients took for me while we spent about 20 minutes just congruent breathing) meaning I started to intentionally breath with Levi, following his natural rhythm and as time went on I started to lengthen the inhale and exhale until I could feel my shoulders falling away from my neck and an overall sense of ease come into my body. He started to attune to my rhythm. Horses mirror but that is a topic for another day ☺️
As I felt this ease settle in, I decided to get clearer on my intentions. My intention is not to just get Levi in the trailer so I can move him from one place to another or take him to medical appointments etc. although that is important to be able to do. My intention is to have a relationship based on trust, presence and willingness with Levi. I desire openness and effort from him but also deeply I desire for him to feel safe enough with me as his partner that he never has to worry about doing anything the “right” way or my way at the detriment to himself but in a way that he feels nourished, happy and encouraged by. Not unlike human relationships I desire the same things in.
I started to envision the re-entry into the previous “threat” zone and how I would stay in connection with him, my intention simply on maintaining a congruent breath pattern extending the breath towards him and back towards me in a cyclical fashion. (Congruent breathing or heart breathing is something we teach in equine facilitated wellness, mindfulness centred somatic wellness and therapeutic yoga sessions to our clients to encourage regulation, vagus nerve activation, connection and presence while building relationships.) Hello Meagan practice what you preach 🙄🤔😂
As we moved our way back towards the trailer you will notice in the pictures towards the end of the slideshow Levi’s body posture change dramatically and ease of the trailer present itself 💗 aha the lesson of congruency and presence in my life once again 🙌 Thank you Levi 😘😘
If you made it this far I am so thankful for your time and interest 🙏
I would love to hear below if you could see yourself at all in myself or Levi or a relationship you have had or have that this may resonate with! ✨
#meagansaumemotionalwellnesscoach
#resiliencewarrior
www.meagansaum.com
