Since social media has become mainstream, we are bombarded with pictures and videos of seemingly perfect lives, perfect homes, perfect bodies, marriages, and parenting. It is difficult to remember that those are just segments of people’s days. Snippets of what people want you to see, and not necessarily the truth. Social media is the ultimate filter for real life.
When you find yourself comparing your life to what you see on social media, it’s important to remember that people only share with you what they want to. If you’re deciding whether or not to implement changes to your life, you need to make sure you’re doing it for the right reason, not to “keep up with the Jones“. If you think you’ll find self-acceptance by comparing and modifying your life based on social media, I assure you, you won’t. Did you know that if someone posts their maximum amount of stories they’re allowed in a day, it’s only equivalent to 15 minutes of their day?
Self-acceptance comes from accepting yourself. Fully. That includes your flaws, strengths, perfections and imperfections (and we all have those), beliefs, values, likes and dislikes. Once you have accepted who you are, you can only then implement changes. It’s not an easy process, but taking some time to sit with your thoughts and identify who you are and what you think or believe is the first step.
“Before we can even change ourselves, we must accept who we actually are since we need a starting point. It’s like using a GPS or Google Maps. First, we have to figure out where we are now (or who we are now) and then figure out where we want to go (or WHO we want to become)” – Young W. Lee.
When comparison starts to lead you to devalue yourself, question your abilities and talk negatively to yourself, you’re entering a slippery slope towards loss of self and confidence.
Here are a few ways to stop the comparison game:
Surround yourself with people that support you:
We never move readily into a place of standing in our power without feeling like we have our back covered. If there are people in your life that are unsupportive, they are NOT the people you go to when you are feeling vulnerable or uncertain. Go where there is flow and kindness!
Check-in and see if your expectations are realistic:
Are you offering yourself a compassionate mind-frame moving into something new or a rigid one? Growth comes from having an expansive way of thinking and a self-accepting attitude for who you are in the present and where you want to go.
Awareness:
More often than not, social comparisons happen without us realizing what we’re doing. When you notice you are doing it, stop yourself and on the next inhale and exhale cycle and think about your blessings. Gratitude is an immediate way to shift your mind!
Focus on your strengths:
Write them down, be honest with yourself! We all have strengths, talents, and skills. You don’t need to knock others down to celebrate your strengths, nor do you need to knock yourself down because someone made you believe you don’t stand in awe and love those strengths.
If you take anything away from this, you need to understand that social media is a curated feed of the highlights of people’s lives. They show you what they WANT to show you, and it’s not always the hard stuff, the unhappy marriages, the body image concerns, and the messy homes. It’s easy to hide those parts of the day. You will never find self-acceptance when you compare yourself to others (especially when the images you are using for comparison are altered and set up). It can only come from comparing yourself to yourself.
Before you decide to make any changes to your life, habits, business, or diet, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Make sure you are doing it for yourself. And not based on someone else’s “perfect” 15 minutes.
